Leaders of the free world met in Geneva today to ratify the Convention on Trusted Rugs following five years of often bitter acrimony, horsetrading and deceit.
The convention ensures that, for the first time in history, every rug woven in any of the signatory countries is produced without recourse to violence.
A new logo was also unveiled. Rug users will be able to check qualifying floorcoverings for the distinctive "bee and nut" logo before finalising their purchase transactions.
The world leaders, assembled for the traditional end-of-conference group karaoke session, refused to comment on rumors that non-compliant rugs will now be withdrawn from all horizontal surfaces found to be harboring them.
"We will not be pulling any rugs," said Fredonian premier Tony Blair. "We'd have to raise tacks first."