Friday, February 18, 2005


They say:

The project is examining how spaces between buildings can be used to create a streetscape matching the cosmopolitan feel of the location and improve the pedestrian experience in accordance with the Urban Realm Strategy for the city centre. Aberdeen City Council, 16 February 2005.

They mean:
We're going to repave Thistle Street.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Headlines That Make History

Americans still like thicker towels

Charlotte Observer, 17 February 2005 [subscription required].
According to that shining light of reason, Princess Michael, the Queen relaxes by exercising her Cockney accent. This news comes hot (or not) on the heels of the revelation that Buckingham Palace lacks double-glazing, and is oozing heat into the Mall.

Who'd have guessed that the royal family were so common? My sources tell me that Princess Michael has done her own secondary glazing at her pad in Kensington. Perhaps she used clingfilm, and a hair dryer.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Cheese theft
Police were called Sunday to Cub Foods, 2600 Rice Creek Road, on a theft report. A Cub security officer said she saw a man entering and leaving the bathroom of the store several times. The man then left the store, and allegedly tried to break into three vehicles, including the security officer's vehicle. She confronted the man, who told her he had cheese in his pocket and it was not paid for. Police asked the man why he was trying to get into the vehicles, and he said he was cold. The man was cited for shoplifting and motor-vehicle tampering. Police gave him a ride home.
St. Paul Pioneer Press, 28 January 2005 [subscription required]

Monday, February 14, 2005

British Culture Triumphs in Hollywood

"I am ashamed of the drink-punch-smash-vomit culture which has spread like an ugly acne on the face of our once proud towns and cities." Steve Green, Chief Constable of Nottinghamshire Police. The Scotsman, 22 January 2005.

"I'm too scared to put on a dress in case the baby vomits on it." Cate Blanchett, Oscar (R) nominee. Ananova, 1 February 2005.

"Yeah, I'd love to be skinny like you, but I couldn't give up eating vinyl." Posted by Hello

Picture: The Virtual Radiogram