According to that shining light of reason, Princess Michael, the Queen relaxes by exercising her Cockney accent. This news comes hot (or not) on the heels of the revelation that Buckingham Palace lacks double-glazing, and is oozing heat into the Mall.

Who'd have guessed that the royal family were so common? My sources tell me that Princess Michael has done her own secondary glazing at her pad in Kensington. Perhaps she used clingfilm, and a hair dryer.