Maybe "Truffle" Is Code For "Missile"?

"Daddy, daddy, look what I found," cries Rana, one of his daughters, running up to Saddam with a truffle in her hand.

The Cape Argus (and everybody else) on Reuters' Saddam Hussein home videos.

Lovely Street Names #1

Reed slammed into a tree along Pine Products Road as he was trying to outrun a sheriff's deputy.

St Petersburg Times [Florida]

Surprisingly dull compilation of exclamations and arguments (on a bus) caused by spontaneous traffic-related nudity in Nigeria.

"So. What about Tim?"

Mustn't-Haves #342
Inside was a set of beautiful, hand crafted metal and wood hot dog sticks! [...]They're very affordable and come in a beautiful cloth case.
Writers Weekly

She waited through the courses until the end when her pungent surprise was brought out. Floating in the bowl of soup were gelatinous rubber band shapes.

Yeltsin paused dramatically before announcing: "Moose lips."

from Hillary Clinton's memoirs, apparently.

Great Moments in Customer Service
Us: Our milk delivery hasn't come today.
Dairy Crest: Yeah, Sean's been really unreliable lately.

6:30 am - Jump on the computer and type in a few names I dreamed up during the night for a new agricultural herbicide. After 21 years of full-time freelancing, I do this work in my sleep!
Star Lawrence, a real star.

DISGRACED doctor Jack Freeman claimed about $670,000 for services he never provided in a sophisticated bulk-billing fraud, a court heard yesterday. [...]The biggest item in the fraud was $388,113.50 Freeman claimed for treating 3595 in-grown toenails. On average, Victorian GPs treated only 19 in that period.

Herald Sun [Australia], 16 May 2003

PS: They mean doctors in Victoria, not doctors from the reign of Queen Victoria. Sheesh.

Drippy Ice Cream Cones?
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

What kind of a name is "Stakeknife"? If I was a double agent, I'd want a cool name like "Mellon Baller".

"I was at a party in Oakland last weekend with some friends," Sabathia said, "and several of them said that I should raise the pants legs and expose the socks."

The Journal of the American Mosquito Control Association reported that drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages increases a person's appeal to mosquitoes. Mosquitoes also love socks and limburger cheese.

Washington Post, 6 May 2003

· Now that you are supporting art projects, perhaps you can help with my latest conceptual masterwork? I intend to place a little blue bag of plain crisps in a deserted salt mine. Which won't come cheap, believe me. If it helps, I can arrange for the crisps to be naked.
Paul May

The Guardian, 3 May 2003

· Why is internet domain name registrar Network Solutions one of the world's least loved companies? It's a long story - a reputation like that is not gained overnight, some real effort has to be put in. Like randomly freezing an internet address for a year, as happened to reader Paul May's cupcake.com site, and then - after a stream of pleas and complaints - unfreezing it without a word of explanation or apology. An illustration of the company is seen in the case of the person who recently found a blank, signed cheque from Network Solutions blowing around on the pavement near Liverpool Street railway station in London. Being an honest type, the finder contacted Network Solutions, and after some effort managed to speak to someone, who told him not to bother. He duly destroyed the cheque, but others might not have been so honest.

Right on. The Guardian, 2 May 2003

Dire advertising, masquerading as local news:
And while you wait, check out The Cheese Shop's eclectic selection of sodas or browse through their candies from around the world [...] The Cheese Shop is a deli with a difference.

Enter into the world of LCD technology with the generous features of the AL511 which enhances the standard office desktop workplace fulfilling the needs of office workers or professionals working in the creative industry enjoying the outstanding performance of a modern TFT Display for a guaranteed return on investment.
Ad in DABS catalogue

Cupcake Canasta will return in full glory to www.cupcake.com on 1 May 2003...

How to get a panther out of your factory:
Thinking she was stuck inside, authorities prodded her with a stick.

Poor Gephardt: put a microphone in front of him and he sounds like he's trying to climb the down escalator. He also has the coloring and demeanor of macaroni and cheese. Recently, he compared himself to a pair of old sneakers.
Time