How to get a panther out of your factory:
Thinking she was stuck inside, authorities prodded her with a stick.

Poor Gephardt: put a microphone in front of him and he sounds like he's trying to climb the down escalator. He also has the coloring and demeanor of macaroni and cheese. Recently, he compared himself to a pair of old sneakers.
Time

The Mecca bingo name is derived from the Mecca Smoking Cafe, which opened in London in 1884.
David Backhouse

My other role is I'm on the volunteer fire department in Tomales, where I live. Here I'm surrounded by women who are passionate about cheese, and there I'm surrounded by men who care nothing about cheese.
Cheesemonger Kate Arding in the San Francisco Chronicle

The holy trinity lego brick.

This guy collects toasters.

For my tombstone:

Occasional profanity, sexual candor and comic vulgarity; fleeting nudity, with a facetious emphasis.

Typical movie synopsis from the early 21st century.

Trivet Trivia Time
Here is a fascinating project from MIT:

This project includes an understanding of oven cooking practices in an oven mitt by designing it to remark verbally on its temperature. The Talking Trivet uses a thermoresistor to remark on the temperature of foods and containers which are placed on it. For example, it exclaims "FIRE!" when left on a surface ove 600 degrees, informs you that the food "Needs rewarming." or affirms that the food is "Hot and ready to eat!". In addition, it sets an automatic timer for cooking which is based on the temperature of the oven. Therefore, a 275 degree oven exclaims that the food should be checked in 40 minutes, whiles a 500 degree oven recommends that it should be tested in 10 minutes.

You heard it here last: this story is vintage July '99:

PASTA GOES CYBER
You heard it here first: A British e-deli has invented a new pasta shape...
the "@", also known as La Chiocciola. According to Best Fratello, the
producer, the pasta has been accepted at the National Museum of Pasta Foods
in Rome (http://www.professionalpasta.it/). The museum chose to add this
shape because it "successfully combines a long-standing tradition of
handicraft pasta making, with a creative shape and the crafted inventiveness
of a modern 'pasta master'." See this pasta for yourself: either buy a
package or order a sample-- you will receive a single handsomely wrapped
piece. A perfect addition to a cybermeal could be the Pasta Shoppe's
"Surfin' the Net" pasta, which features little computers in orange and
natural colors!
Get your "@" pasta sample or package at:
http://www.thebestraffaello.com/uk/cyberpasta.htm
Purchase the "Surfin' the Net" pasta at:
http://goshoppingonline.bfast.com/goshoppingonline/click?sourceid=970674&bfp
id=14_NET700&bfmtype=14

VirtualItalia.com

What I really want is pasta shaped like the Enron "E".

Sarah Ferguson, interviewed on a visit to Milwaukee:

Q. Is this your first time to Milwaukee? Are you planning to sample any of Milwaukee's delicacies, like beer and bratwurst? Or are you going to eat more sensible fare while you're here?

A. I've been here before. I like Wisconsin. We like the cheese curds. Where are the cheese curds? I haven't seen a cheese curd in sight (looking over to a nearby buffet). I won't do beer and bratwurst, but I would quite like to try a cheese curd. We like the fried cheese curds. As usual, (the food during her visit) will be quite sensible. (She rolls her eyes.)

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 20 January 2003

John Lennon Goes Mobile
Moviso announced mobile content licensing deals that make celebrity graphics, animation and sound effects available for mobile devices worldwide. Moviso is also the first company to make John Lennon photographs and graphics available to the mobile market. Moviso is working with a range of content companies to deliver the broadest selection of mobile media content worldwide to both carriers and consumers directly.
Click here for full text

Your free-to-air channels tonight:

The Cloning Channel
Old documentaries copied from other channels. (Formerly UK CheapLoans.)

Clone + 1
Special version of Cloning Channel for people watching with their own clone.

UK Cod
Previously unseen colour war footage from 1975, plus recipes. Nudity: YES. Violence: PARTIAL. Vinegar: SOME.

Snow
Random pattern of grey dots. (Analogue only after 2006 or 2008 or 2010.)

Your free-to-air programmes tonight:

7.30 - 8.00 Going for a Thong
A panel of celebrities guess which piece of underwear belongs to which celebrity, and how much it would fetch at auction

8.00 - 8.02 Whose line is it anyway?
A panel of celebrities snort at the week’s news

8.02 - 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge
A panel of producers tries to assemble a programme schedule from a pile of clapped-out celebrities and creaky formats

Business doesn't get any more exciting than this:

CHICAGO -- McDonald's Corp. is planning to intensify the price war -- and attempt to boost U.S. sales -- by adding the grilled flatbread sandwich and a chicken nugget meal to its new Dollar Menu.

Several Chicago franchisees and owner operators said they plan to add the grilled flatbread sandwich to the Dollar Menu in January, while Los Angeles-based operators said a five-piece McNugget meal is scheduled to be added next week.

Chicago Tribune, 27/11/02

Hungry? Me neither.

Bulletin for friends of Cupcake Canasta:

The domain cupcake.com is still frozen. Network Solutions, now part of Verisign, disabled the domain in February 2002 without issuing any notices. They won't reply to my communications. My ISP, who is listed as technical and administrative contact, won't do anything. Still nothing from any court in any land suggesting that the domain's ownership has been disputed. No trace of a dispute in any of the arbitration bodies' listings. Computer Weekly in the UK published my letter about the situation in November 2002.

The full archive of Cupcake Canasta is still available at www.cupcake.co.uk.

The latest helpful advice from Amazon:

Customers who wear clothes also shop for: [...]

No mention of what Amazon's nudist customers have bouight recently.

The house used for external scenes in "The Good Life" (U.S: "Good Neighbors") is in Northwood, Middlesex, not Surbiton. It was up for sale in March 2001, though I don't know how much it went for.

All these domains are taken:
yada.com
yadayada.com
yadayadayada.com
yadayadayadayada.com

But not this one:
yadayadayadayadayada.com

Imagine:

“Lennon” and “John Lennon” are trademarks of Yoko Ono Lennon.

http://www.jlsc.com/

"Yes, here are plenty of attractions worth your while!"

Lovely description of Bergen.